Ways To Deal with Codependent Relationships

A codependent relationship occurs when your spouse relies on you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You must be able to rely on people you care about, but at a certain point, this can lead to destructive relationship patterns. This sort of dependency is typical in partnerships where one of the partners even financially depends on the other.

Codependency is not a professional diagnostic or a formal personality disorder in and of itself. In general, it comprises attachment style patterns formed from early infancy. Codependent relationships can also be associated with other personality disorders, such as dependent personality disorder. It is vital to seek the assistance of codependency recovery and live independently.

What Is a Codependent Relationship?

Codependent relationships are usually considered negative since they mostly have an unhealthy level of emotional or psycho-emotional dependency on somebody else. The kind of affiliation that one is likely to find in this kind of relationship may seem loving, intense, and thrilling at the start but rapidly decays, turning dishearteningly toxic and dysfunctional.

Healthy relationships, as per this object, will leave the two partners empowered and retaining their identities, respecting each other’s individuality by way of the balance between giving and receiving support. The other kind of relationship is codependent; this is an illogical and unstable relationship that is a threat to the emotional and mental health of people.

Codependency Symptoms

It might be difficult to tell the difference between a codependent individual and someone who is simply clingy or deeply in love with someone else. The codependent relationship signs include as:

• Experience happiness only when helping others.
• Stay in a relationship despite being aware of their partner’s harmful behaviors.
• Do whatever it takes to please and satisfy their facilitator, even if it comes at a price.
• Experience ongoing worry in their relationship owing to a need always to make the other person happy.
• Devote time and effort to fulfilling their partner’s requests.
• Refrain from expressing personal wants or desires in the relationship due to guilt feelings.
• Ignore own morality or conscience to satisfy others.

Causes of Codependent Relationships

Codependency can be either biological, psychological, or social in its origin. The causes of codependent relationships may include:

• The prefrontal cortex of a codependent person may not turn off the ‘on’ switch of empathy. That would make a person too full of empathy, making it easier to be codependent.
• Co-dependent relationships may have a psychological predisposition to care about others.
• Negative life events, such as parental conflict, neglect, or emotional abuse, can have a psychological impact on children.
• Codependency can be caused by societal expectations of women’s duties or increasing exposure to drug addiction within families.
• The other kind of relationships do not depends on each other; it is an illogical and unstable relationship that leads to the emotional stress and cause mental health issues in many people.

Types of Codependency

I. Active Codependency

Active codependents are generally perceived as the more powerful narcissists, although this is not true. They are viewed this way because their manipulation is usually open and obvious. They are not wary of conflict and would rather provoke one than steer clear of it. They do their best to dominate their more emotionally manipulative spouse, but this fails when that person is uninterested or incapable of doing what they want.

II. Passive Codependency

Passive co dependency in relationships refers to the fear of disagreement by a person. They will do everything it takes to avoid conflict and disagreement in the relationship. Passive-dependent individuals have lower self-esteem. Hence, they tend to stay in a relationship with dominating persons or partners that overtly manipulate them. They may even stay when faced with physical or mental abuse from their partner.

Codependency In Marriage

It is expected of spouses to grow closer to each other over time when they are under the same roof. Interests start overlapping and co-mingling with each other the longer a couple is married. While this is a normal process, it creates a toxic codependency when one partner slowly loses their identity.

Codependent spouses are characterized by the fear of operating alone and the intense need to be constantly with their partners. It is destructive since being left alone for a long time causes people to get depressed. This feature makes it more difficult than usual for people to leave their marriage, even when the latter has become painful or violent.

Fast Facts on Codependency Relationship

• Codependent relationships can occur among acquaintances, romantic partners, or family members.
• The relationship frequently involves emotional or physical violence.
• Friends and family partners of a codependent individual may identify a problem.
• Treating mental and emotional health issues takes time, effort, and the support of a medical professional.

How To Fix a Codependent Relationship?

Identifying codependent behavior in a relationship may be challenging since many of the characteristic signs can look like care and concern. It is, however, applaudable and a necessary step if you or anyone you know wishes to find a solution to their codependency issue to be able to identify these signs in oneself or the relationship.

It opens up healthy relationship paradigms where perhaps the two individuals might be able to make the necessary improvements as single human beings or as a couple or discover how they might be able to develop and provide for each other. There are a few tips to consider for codependency recovery; these include:

• Recognize the issue.
• Try challenging negative beliefs to gain a new viewpoint.
• Avoid taking things personally.
• Establish healthy limits by communicating openly.
• Prioritize self-care to boost self-esteem.
• Use mindfulness to improve clarity.

Codependent Relationship Examples

A codependent personality type has difficulties expressing their goals and needs and relies on others’ approval to feel valued. They may be extremely burdensome, feel compelled to solve other people’s issues, or grow enraged when their assistance is refused.

1. Taking responsibility for others’ acts.
2. Feeling burdened by others’ concerns.
3. Covering up to prevent disagreement.
4. Making justifications for others’ actions.
5. Prioritizing your wants.
6. Neglecting personal well-being.
7. Difficulty setting clear limits.

The 4 Core Codependency Characteristics

1. Lack of Boundaries

The falsely empowered are independent and invulnerable. They never seek for aid or acknowledge to needing it. The unjustly powerful say ‘no’ as a power play or to exact revenge. Their conscious and unconscious purpose is to achieve power and control so that they can stay safe. They might be judgmental, critical, defensive, or dismissive, and they frequently conceal facts. The falsely empowered are walled in and walled off; they avoid closeness by not making themselves known.

2. Lack of Self-love

The erroneously empowered codependent regards themselves as superior to others. They might be arrogant, egotistical, or trapped in the fantasy of perfection and the belief that they are completely good. They acquire “other esteem,” believing that their worth stems from praise from others and acclaim earned via success. Achievement and the appearance of confidence are a smokescreen to conceal their underlying humiliation and lack of innate value. Many individuals mistake a person for a narcissist when they are falsely empowered and codependent.

3. Out of Reality

The falsely empowered are in denial about their dysfunction. They are unaware and misleading themselves about who they are in real. The falsely empowered do not know or reveal their truth, but they assume they do; they claim to be very honest and open. They utilize their accomplishments to convince themselves that they are doing well in life. They avoid allowing people to know them, but they also avoid understanding themselves.

4. Lack of Self-Care

The erroneously powerful are unnecessary and wantless; they will not ask for assistance since they do not feel they require it. They do not want to look weak; thus, they seek to avoid dependency. They are uninterested, forgetful, late (lateness is all about power), contemptuous, or even irritated by having to care for others. Controlling others causes illness and harm for both the disempowered and the falsely powerful.

Final Thoughts

Codependent relationships are the sort of attachment where both the partners get depends on each other emotionally and sometimes financially too. Such type of affection later on leads to the toxic and annoying relationship. Therefore, it is vital to the seek the professional assistance and opt for the better opportunity for codependency recovery you are facing for so long. When you observe someone around you is struggling with this toxic relation , you might visit MAVA Behavioral Health for expert guidence.